Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Cheeky T-Shirts

Nothing is as endearing as a gag on a t-shirt. A good cheeky t-shirt conveys a playful spirit, joie de vivre, and the sense of humour of the garment's wearer. A gag t-shirt also affords an insight into a persons personality and opinions, including but not limited to:
  • Their opinion of the size their reproductive organ(s).
  • How many alcoholic beverages they feel are appropriate to imbibe before retiring for the evening.
  • Off the cuff assessments of the character of members of their party.
  • Assessments of the quality and character of an ethnic group they associate with.
  • Assessments of the quality and character of an ethnic group they don't associate with.

Clearly this is all very valuable information to learn about random people you pass on the street, which is why shirts like this are wonderful.

Friday, May 25, 2012


Do remember that scene in The Matrix where the one trench coat guy says to the other "do you think that's air you're breathing?" It's hard to remember the point of a movie that came out 15 years ago, but I think it had something to do with sanitation.

Sanitation is the process through which an organization of lifeforms creates conditions that are adverse to lifeforms of another species, provided that the latter species may have an negative effect on the livelihood and wellbeing of the former. For example, a butcher in a hotdog factory has to clear out the meat chutes every once in a while, lest the rotting meat attracted a pack of wild dogs that would overrun the facility and make it harder for him to do his job. Similarly, ancient Romans devised a series of interconnected ducts to carry away human waste, (mainly excrement and urine), from their urban centres to prevent the spread of disease.

All around, their are really no drawbacks to sanitation. It's basically a "killer app," where that which is being killed is feral dogs and cholera.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Iced Americano at Cafe 260

Enjoy an Iced Americano at Cafe 260. It's like all the good things that happened in your life were put in a cup: every Sunday morning sleep-in; every sun rising on a dewey-morning dog walk; every diploma and paycheck; every smile, hug, and kiss; every milestone and sense of accomplishment; every moment you felt loved. They're all in there. Now take away all the regrets, the people you let down along the way, and any hint of bitterness. That's what it's like. It's liquid heaven.