Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Li'l Guppie

It's been dark for so long. You don't even know what time it is anymore; your alternator is shot, and the clock is buzzing 88:88.

You've been driving through this misty marshland for hours. Visibility was poor to begin with, but you're so tired that you're sweaty all over and your eyes are swelling up. The gently rolling hills and dream-like landscape are slowly lulling you to sleep.

As you are slowly succumbing to exhaustion, your mind begins to wander. You can't see that a huge snapping turtle is about to lunge in front of your vehicle!

With a deft, and well-rehearsed move, the turtle rolls under your car and bites a hole right though the inner sidewall. The sudden yawing acceleration startles you out of your trance. You expertly make an emergency stop.

Surveying the damage, you realize that you'll have to put on the spare tire. Unfortunately, you know that you don't have much time, because the turtle is slowly ambling toward you with a deranged lustful hunger in his eyes. You reach into the trunk, and extract your spare tire and tire iron. You look back, startled by the dripping fangs of the approaching beast. This shock causes the tire iron to drop out of your still sweaty hands into the depths of the marsh.

Luckily you have your Li'l Guppie multitool in your pocket. The adjustable wrench is nowhere near big enough or strong enough to take the bolt off of your tire, but the 2" knife might just give you a fighting chance against that turtle...

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